Frankly, I myself have wondered how or why anyone would choose a parent or partner who is abusive to them as the soul plans the next incarnation. So though I'm partial to the idea that we do have many life experiences so that we can learn and improve ourselves, I feel that there is a risk in experiencing a life that makes us a worse person. I feel careful about having a "tit for tat" notion about spiritual experiences and using reincarnation theories as an excuse for bad behavior.
But let's see what Carol Bowman had to say in her book, which I highly recommend.
Page 144 : Not all souls participate equally in the planning process. Some are actively involved and choose carefully; others are passive, drifting into their next lives without much preparation. Some apparently never leave the earth vibration and wander aimlessly until they fall into a convenient womb. It's not a tidy process, not uniform or predictable, follows no formulas, and is definitely not the same for every soul.
Page 145 : It seems that in choosing a life the difference in the degree of planning is dependent on the soul's maturity and awareness. Studies agree that advanced souls spend more time in the afterlife learning and weighing plans for their next incarnation than less mature souls do. Since the advanced souls have mastered a higher level of lessons and skills on Earth, they have the understanding to create more ambitious and finely tuned plans. On the other hand, less advanced "beginner" souls rush through the afterlife without giving much thought to what they are doing and jump back into the first body that seems good enough. These lives have a smaller chance of being productive compared with those that are carefully planned. The unplanned lives are more likely to end up being drab and meaningless or chaotic, or the individual may be overwhelmed by challenges it is not equipped to handle.
Carol Bowman's book was published in 2001 and so about twenty-five years ago. I'm sure much more has been learned about reincarnation in the Western, Christian world, since then. I'm aware that some Christian's believe that any belief in reincarnation is wrong, even demonic. I personally do not agree this is so.
As a genealogist I encounter many family stories, many family secrets, many family scandals, and vow to show respect for those I work with and for by not revealing these to others. There is a lot of pain and shame in some cases. I realize that genealogy is most often promoted as a way to reunite a family, but sometimes the notion of "family" is one that needs to be redefined.
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