This morning I ran into "Bette" the best friend of "Ethel." She was on her way to meet Ethel and accompany her to a doctor's appointment.
Ethel is never married and childless, living in the family stead for the last 75 years, with one brother on the east coast who comes out to visit once a year. At this late stage in her life Ethel simply does not think she can adjust to life in a small new England town moved in or near her brother, especially because of the harsh weather there, and also feels, rightly so, that she would miss the many social advantages she has living on a fixed income here.
With our increasing population of unmarried, never married, and childless people, it is becoming more and more important for people - especially seniors - to have best friend. It's my suggestion that while friends are not part of your genealogy project, certainly a best friend is part of a family history, or personal history/memoir project. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO SEE THE MENTION OF BEST FRIENDS IN OBITUARIES.
It's often said that we do not choose our family and can't be blamed for our relatives, though some reincarnationists would disagree, and that's usually the case when it comes to bosses and coworkers too.
But you choose your friends.
Bette and Ethel originally met a church that neither of them goes to any more, though they go to another. Bette has a disabled son who she has been the lone caregiver of for years and is still working part time while Ethel has been on disability income since midlife. The two go here, there, and everywhere together - lunches at a senior center, local museums on free days, shopping, and doctor's appointments. This morning Bette, bless her, told me that she calls Ethel every morning and every night.
In case you're wondering, neither woman is of lesbian nature. But it could be said that they act as husband and wife, living separately, together.
So here is another, real story of women's friendship that is a little closer to my home.
Walking my dog I got to know several neighbors, including "Este." She lives in a large old single apartment with one pit bull, one scruffy little dog, one enormous white cat, and until recently two roommates, a married couple. She has lived in the same place for over 20 years and with rent control this is what she can afford in her retirement. Of course the couple both work and are gone most of the day, and they are gone a lot socially too, but recently the wife went to live elsewhere. That left Este and, we'll call him "Mickey" the motorcycling riding fifty-something man who works full time.
A few months back Este got pneumonia and had to go into the hospital and then a nursing facility. Mickey showed up to visit and she wrote out rent and utility checks. He was on his motorcycle on his way to the landlords to pay the rent with the check when he was in a bad accident.
Enter, "Sharon," Este's best friend. Sharon visited Este at the hospital every other day and when Este wanted and needed some of her things from the apartment, like her own nightgowns, of course Sharon went with her key to pick things up. That's when she saw eviction notices on the door. The pets, sadly, had not eaten in days. Now Este, as stated, had paid her rent on time for 20 years but this landlord was going to evict her anyway. (You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.) It was then that Sharon - and Este - realized something was wrong. What had happened to the rent check and Mickey?
Sharon contacted the landlord, who wanted his money, money she could not come up with. She explained that Este was in a nursing home temporarily and that she had written out the rent check and handed it to Mickey; she begged for time. Sharon went on FACEBOOK and that way learned that Mickey was hospitalized and in need of prayers. She went to the hospital to see him, where he lay in a coma. She went to the place where his motorcycle was impounded, found the rent check and then delivered it to the landlord, who backed off the eviction- with only a day to spare! In short, because of Sharon's devotion to her best friend she saved her from being a homeless senior citizen. She now went to the apartment every day to walk and feed the animals.
I know that if you've read this far you want more of the story. Este did return home well but with Mickey, who was now conscious, in the hospital and not working, she was still not sure that she could keep the place. Mickey even told her that he wasn't sure if he would make it home or back to work in time. Mickey's coworkers DONATED THEIR VACATION TIME to his recovery so that he would not loose his job. He WAS able to make it back to work, not on his motorcycle, but in a van for the disabled, and keep his job. Weeks into this physical therapy, he is still not able to ride it, but he wants to. His best friend comes over on Sundays and they give it a try.
Bless Sharon!
Keeping the Holiday Spirit
Christine
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