Hi there AWG!
Because of all the information available on the Internet I've easily found the addresses of a number of relatives who I've had no contact with in 20 or more years and all around the country too. I've done the genealogy and haven't shared it. I thought I'd publish a little book someday and send it out. Now I'm thinking that I should try and contact some of these people and establish connection again. The problem is that I stopped connecting with most of them years ago because of a family scandal which effected me badly. It seemed to me no one wanted to take sides or get involved or that I didn't want to put them in the position of having to. The perpetrator is still alive. I have no idea what her relationship is with others in the family.
Sharon
Answer:
Hi Sharon,
Without giving me all the details I can say I know what you mean. I've heard of situations like this many times. Every family has secrets and maybe some of them should stay secrets. Genealogy books can be "just the facts" or a bit more elaborate with memoir-like details and you might feel like letting it "all hang out" is honest (and accurate). However, I'm going to try and be pragmatic here.
You can have the book published and send out copies to everyone, some may be interested, some not, and some relationships may be reestablished. When they gossip they can say you were fair and sending EVERYONE a copy.
OR
You can contact everyone and say there is a book available and you'll be glad to send it, but request that they send a donation for the shipping, something like that, which might prove to you who is or isn't interested in the genealogy, appreciative of all your work, or who does not want to start contact with you for whatever reason.
OR
You could contact the people you feel more sure about and tell them you are working on a genealogy and family memoir book and ask for their memories, photos, and so on, including them in on the finished product, and a few of them will show interest and most won't, even if they say they will.
OR
You could publish limited editions of your book and put it on the shelves of libraries all over the country. Most libraries are interested. My city library keeps thousands, not in the stacks, but in back, to be used within the library by special request. (You could then send notes stating that your published genealogy and family history rests in their local library.) I intend to do this someday, and right now it will probably be in only four cities, but if I find clusters of relatives elsewhere, maybe more.
As for getting into what happened years ago and how it effected you, I understand that you equate the facts found in genealogy research through documents with truth and honesty, but I just don't know.
C 2017
27 July 2017
22 July 2017
HALLOWED GROUNDS - AMERICA'S OVERSEAS CEMETERIES : ANCESTRY WORKSHIP GENEALOGY FILM REVIEW
HALLOWED GROUNDS focuses on the cemeteries in Europe where soldiers from World War I and World War II are buried. Turns out that simple crosses lined up like soldiers feature in most of these cemeteries. Most touching is that some Europeans have picked a soldier, learned of his sacrifice for their freedom, and have adopted him, bringing flowers since his own family is not likely to visit. These cemeteries are in England and France, Italy, Luxemberg, Belgium. Why was I surprised to learn that there are locations in Tunisia and the Philippines?
My meditation on this film was also that, sadly, we seem to be essentially hung up on World War II. What about Viet Nam? What about undeclared war? I think maybe if it's not officially a war than it can't have official heroes (and heroines!)
According to this film at least 125,000 American military men and women are buried in these cemeteries. Then there are so many more who are missing. Probably forever.
Worth watching!
12 July 2017
WAYS AROUND THE MARRIAGE LICENSE and RECORD
You may have used a database that has an index or text version extracted from the original records that were originally on printed forms but handwritten. Depending on the database you've used, you may be satisfied with what comes up. But I advise "go further." Go to the actual document and if it's not available on that database send away for photocopies of the original from the county or state or city where those documents are held.
I recently looked at an original and there in neat but tiny handwriting were the words "real name Polasky" under the bridges name information. This bit of information proofed an oral history as well as confirmed that a possible reason that the bride's family wasn't coming up on census records and so on was that, though it was a first marriage and she was just 21, there had been a name change in the family quite soon after immigration; these immigrants Germanized their surname.
This means to me that:
1) They could have done so because they thought or knew that it would mean work.
2) Quite likely they also spoke some German, as well as their native Polish.
3) That could mean they were from the part of Poland that was once the Austrian Empire since people went to school for free but learned in German.
4) Perhaps someday I will go back a generation or two and find some of their ancestors in Poland were German and had German surnames. Or that they left Poland but more recently lived in Germany.
Because the bride stated it was her first marriage, I knew that this name change was not a result of marriage.
But from the license and the civil paperwork submitted by the person who performed the marriage, it was not clear if that person was a priest, justice of the peace, circuit judge, preacher, or some other person officially able to conduct marriages. The family was also not sure, because the groom married a second time quickly after this first wife, I'll call her the Polasky bride, died, if these were religious marriages. Rumors flew that the Polasky bride was Jewish. The next step was to run the addresses of the bride, groom, and the officiate, as well as to check what day of the week they filed for licenses and the day of the week they married. Did they have a church wedding?
And what did he mean "real name?" Most likely, the family did change their name, but they might not have gone through a legal process. At the time many people did not.
I was able, because historical information came up on the Internet, to verify that in both cases, the marriages were performed within a week of the license and during the middle of the week. This means there was no long engagement and it's less likely I'll find any announcements of engagements, marriages, or honeymoons in newspapers. They decided and they went ahead and were married. In one case, the certificate was signed by a priest who did not mention he was a priest, and in another it simply says "clergy." Though I suspect that there wasn't a special wedding Mass said for them, and that these weddings were a bit closer to a simple ceremony, in each case though, the marriages were performed in Catholic Churches, the first a Polish parish, and the second a Hungarian parish. I learned where the records are kept for each. One of the parishes is still functioning a hundred years or so after being founded, and there is a cemetery attached.
The Polasky bride's death certificate gives both names she used. I called the cemetery and they don't know where she is buried. There is no headstone, if there ever was one.
Then I ran the names through FamilySearch were someone has submitted for some branch of the family. The name of the Polasky bride's parents are not the same as the one submitted, nor are they in the same state. But the submitter shows that there was a name change - and it matches the family I was searching for.
What this means right now is that I feel certain that the family in the other state is that of her uncle and his children. His birthdate makes him old enough to be her father, and I would guess that her father is an older or younger brother.
However, unless I eventually find her and her parents that match her wedding license, and I suspect I will with their names horribly written and further transcribed distant from the actual surname. There are some other speculations I must deal with:
That her birth father was in the United States for a while, but went back to Poland, leaving her, and possibly some siblings as adults to support themselves. Also a possibility is that I have found her father but he has remarried, and was married three times, her mother being a brief second marriage. Possibly her mother died. Finally though I have a second possible clue that links me to a family in another states and that is the oral history that her mother was named Veronica. Her mother was not named Veronica, but if she is linked to this family, she would have an older sister or half sister named Veronica who was also on the census in the same place as she was married - briefly.
It's my intuition that the oral history that she had a mother named Veronica is actually that her mother died when she was born or young, and that this older sister, so long as she was still living in the same place, still looked in on her though there was a remarriage.
This particular situation has really challenged by genealogy myopia (we all have it at times).
If the records are correct, she came in 1904 with someone. The possible uncle in another state also states he came in 1904. She married in 1916. Had a first child in 1918. Died in 1920.
Proofing of course is needed!
C Ancestry Worship Genealogy BlogSpot. All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights.
I recently looked at an original and there in neat but tiny handwriting were the words "real name Polasky" under the bridges name information. This bit of information proofed an oral history as well as confirmed that a possible reason that the bride's family wasn't coming up on census records and so on was that, though it was a first marriage and she was just 21, there had been a name change in the family quite soon after immigration; these immigrants Germanized their surname.
This means to me that:
1) They could have done so because they thought or knew that it would mean work.
2) Quite likely they also spoke some German, as well as their native Polish.
3) That could mean they were from the part of Poland that was once the Austrian Empire since people went to school for free but learned in German.
4) Perhaps someday I will go back a generation or two and find some of their ancestors in Poland were German and had German surnames. Or that they left Poland but more recently lived in Germany.
Because the bride stated it was her first marriage, I knew that this name change was not a result of marriage.
But from the license and the civil paperwork submitted by the person who performed the marriage, it was not clear if that person was a priest, justice of the peace, circuit judge, preacher, or some other person officially able to conduct marriages. The family was also not sure, because the groom married a second time quickly after this first wife, I'll call her the Polasky bride, died, if these were religious marriages. Rumors flew that the Polasky bride was Jewish. The next step was to run the addresses of the bride, groom, and the officiate, as well as to check what day of the week they filed for licenses and the day of the week they married. Did they have a church wedding?
And what did he mean "real name?" Most likely, the family did change their name, but they might not have gone through a legal process. At the time many people did not.
I was able, because historical information came up on the Internet, to verify that in both cases, the marriages were performed within a week of the license and during the middle of the week. This means there was no long engagement and it's less likely I'll find any announcements of engagements, marriages, or honeymoons in newspapers. They decided and they went ahead and were married. In one case, the certificate was signed by a priest who did not mention he was a priest, and in another it simply says "clergy." Though I suspect that there wasn't a special wedding Mass said for them, and that these weddings were a bit closer to a simple ceremony, in each case though, the marriages were performed in Catholic Churches, the first a Polish parish, and the second a Hungarian parish. I learned where the records are kept for each. One of the parishes is still functioning a hundred years or so after being founded, and there is a cemetery attached.
The Polasky bride's death certificate gives both names she used. I called the cemetery and they don't know where she is buried. There is no headstone, if there ever was one.
Then I ran the names through FamilySearch were someone has submitted for some branch of the family. The name of the Polasky bride's parents are not the same as the one submitted, nor are they in the same state. But the submitter shows that there was a name change - and it matches the family I was searching for.
What this means right now is that I feel certain that the family in the other state is that of her uncle and his children. His birthdate makes him old enough to be her father, and I would guess that her father is an older or younger brother.
However, unless I eventually find her and her parents that match her wedding license, and I suspect I will with their names horribly written and further transcribed distant from the actual surname. There are some other speculations I must deal with:
That her birth father was in the United States for a while, but went back to Poland, leaving her, and possibly some siblings as adults to support themselves. Also a possibility is that I have found her father but he has remarried, and was married three times, her mother being a brief second marriage. Possibly her mother died. Finally though I have a second possible clue that links me to a family in another states and that is the oral history that her mother was named Veronica. Her mother was not named Veronica, but if she is linked to this family, she would have an older sister or half sister named Veronica who was also on the census in the same place as she was married - briefly.
It's my intuition that the oral history that she had a mother named Veronica is actually that her mother died when she was born or young, and that this older sister, so long as she was still living in the same place, still looked in on her though there was a remarriage.
This particular situation has really challenged by genealogy myopia (we all have it at times).
If the records are correct, she came in 1904 with someone. The possible uncle in another state also states he came in 1904. She married in 1916. Had a first child in 1918. Died in 1920.
Proofing of course is needed!
C Ancestry Worship Genealogy BlogSpot. All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights.
08 July 2017
WHAT'S IN A NAME CHANGE - WHAT MAKES ME MAD - PART TWO
(Continued - part one was posted about a month ago.)
I know of a Celtic /Irish American author who has been defamed by one biographer by adding a second L...
If you are researching a "difficult to pronounce or spell" surname, first, use on online translator that has speech capability or talk to someone of the ethnic heritage (that may mean contacting a Native American tribe or special ethnic research group), and get the SOUND of the name. Write down what it sounds like to you. Ask other people to write down what they think they are hearing.
Use SOUNDEX to bring up names that sound like that. (Be aware that Soundex (s) aren't perfect. One is considered to be Germanized.) Try to imagine what it might be to a German speaker who is a census taker.
Become sensitized through the use of SOUNDEX or database opportunities to bring up names that are close in spelling. Though so many names are common, in particular names based on professions, that it doesn't imply descendants are from one massive family. However, you may find that the name has changed through time as people you're related to moved from country to country.
When it comes to snobbery, I've heard many people criticized for have a van, von, or other prefix indicating land ownership, if not also nobility, before their surname. Some families dropped this when they accepted the democratic ideals of the United States of America, but if your family was using it in the Old Country, then that's your name! Remember that wealth and elite status then isn't what it is now. They could have had inherited land but be broke.)
(part three coming!)
I know of a Celtic /Irish American author who has been defamed by one biographer by adding a second L...
If you are researching a "difficult to pronounce or spell" surname, first, use on online translator that has speech capability or talk to someone of the ethnic heritage (that may mean contacting a Native American tribe or special ethnic research group), and get the SOUND of the name. Write down what it sounds like to you. Ask other people to write down what they think they are hearing.
Use SOUNDEX to bring up names that sound like that. (Be aware that Soundex (s) aren't perfect. One is considered to be Germanized.) Try to imagine what it might be to a German speaker who is a census taker.
Become sensitized through the use of SOUNDEX or database opportunities to bring up names that are close in spelling. Though so many names are common, in particular names based on professions, that it doesn't imply descendants are from one massive family. However, you may find that the name has changed through time as people you're related to moved from country to country.
When it comes to snobbery, I've heard many people criticized for have a van, von, or other prefix indicating land ownership, if not also nobility, before their surname. Some families dropped this when they accepted the democratic ideals of the United States of America, but if your family was using it in the Old Country, then that's your name! Remember that wealth and elite status then isn't what it is now. They could have had inherited land but be broke.)
(part three coming!)
04 July 2017
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