I sit down with the man who asked me to search for his mother's side of the family because he wants to visit the heritage towns now in Europe that are the source of his immigrant ancestors. Our search has become one focused on the real identity of his mother's birth parents. The story goes that she was put into an orphanage as an infant after her mother died in childbirth of soon after.
I've reached the point where reliance on free genealogy databases and internet web sites are not going to get us where we need to be. I strongly advise my client to ask the Catholic Diocese for the information of birth of his birth mother, which is not on the state or county birth Indexes but may have been submitted to the diocese by the priest who baptized her, ASAP. There is likely to be a wait due to under-staffing. It could take weeks or months for a response. Luckily the archive doesn't charge too much.
The county of her birth may have a birth certificate for her even if her name does not appear on indexes for the year of her birth. I run her name again in this database just in case knowing I tried several spelling variations, just her given name, and so on. + feel SOMEONE once had this birth certificate. The Baptismal record from the Diocese Archive seems to be the best bet.
I've been wondering why he first said he had that information and then said he didn't. At first I thought he had it but could not find it. Is it possible that his mother spun a story and he perpetrated it? Out of ignorance? Love? And he is withholding that from me? I even wonder if I'm being tested.
Until we have this information, I must tell him that I suspect that his birth mother's father died before she was born and that her birth mother died the same year she was born - maybe the day she was born - so it would have been some other relative that took her and put her in an orphanage as an infant, someone else who visited her for a while, someone else's sons who didn't bother with her. Not the people that are listed on FIND A GRAVE as her parents.
I have not stated this as fact because I cannot, not yet, but when I mentioned I had some suspicions he blurted "just the facts."
The truth is that genealogists sometimes have to go with their guts, have to know to evaluate all the facts they have and determine what is "most likely." I'm also open to synchronicity. My gut says that there has to be some other reason why a relative did not take the child.
I lay awake at night wondering how I can say what I suspect so that I can have his cooperation to go after archive held documents. I want the death certificate of the man I suspect to be his mother's birth father, the one who died before she was born. I imagine it coming in the mail, my heart pounding as I force myself to open it. What if he died so early in the year before she was born that he COULD NOT BE THE FATHER? What if he committed suicide? What if the woman who was his mother's birth mother had an affair? If a woman had an affair and got pregnant and then died in childbirth or soon after, or she was perceived as the cause of a suicide, then maybe that would count for the rejection of an innocent baby by the family which, if not wealthy, had farmland and could probably feed one more.
I hear in my mind the voice of an old friend who liked to pride himself in total transparency and would wise crack about white lies: "Oh what a web we weave!" This one sure does need untangled.
The man asked me "Will a DNA test help?" There are all sorts of options with DNA but since he wants NO CONTACT with all the blood relatives he has, one of them has the big family tree on FAMILY SEARCH and we are not making contact (and I could find several members just using the phone book) well, it's likely DNA would lead to these same people, who may have never heard of his existence. In other words, we don't need it to find people he's related to.
I ask him if he knows if he has any half siblings? Did his mother have any other children? If he had a sister (who we could perhaps locate using genealogy) we could ask her to take a test as well which would help confirm they are are half siblings and lead us possibly to the correct matriarchal line.
He alludes to having a half-sister. The only problem is that he never had a reunion with her. And that this revelation begins to further erode the original stories he told me of a very naive and innocent woman. Youthful ignorance is one thing. A mature woman who has already experienced a baby being taken from her, perhaps another.
C 2019 Ancestry Worship Genealogy Blogspot
To follow along on this genealogy research path click on the label below that says Research Path Heritage Search 1
