Why is this post number two instead of further down the line?
Well, if an adoption happens in the United States, much depends on the rules of the state and when the adoption occurred. A person's adoption can be Closed or Open.
Closed Adoption is the traditional way. Closed means that the adoptee may be entitled only to non-identifying information. That means the identity of the birth mother and father were not meant to be revealed. The birth parents were guaranteed privacy. It was thought to be a clean and permanent break that was best for everyone.
Information such as "mother is recent immigrant and unwed who has TB" is non-identifying. "Mother is Susan Smith, a resident of County TB hospital" is identifying.
After birth, a child is usually issued a "birth certificate" (and some hospitals also gave parents one from the hospital - I have both) but rather than certifying a birth it's intended to certify the parents and who is responsible. A mother can claim a father is unknown or name someone - her husband or another man - and who knows what's true. (Actress Marilyn Monroe/ Norma Jeane Baker faced this issue. DNA testing may have the answer.) But original birth certificates are right about who the mother is, unless there were quite unusual circumstances in which a deception was pulled off. (Such as in the biblical story of Moses.)
When a legal adoption occurs, a new "birth certificate" is issued, called an AMENDED birth certificate. The adopting parents' names go on the paperwork and a new certificate with a new number is issued. If you're an adoptee this is the birth certificate, you'll get from your state of birth.
Open Adoption means that information about the birth mother and father will be available but that doesn't mean at no charge or instantly or that the person will be alive and locatable.
I've heard of modern adoption agreements that include yearly photos and letters sent by adoptive parents to the birth mother. Some make agreements that the child may only have the information from their parents after the age of 18. This all in the last 20-30 or so years when children to adopt have become more difficult to find. Why? Because of legal abortion. Because there is less stigma about illegitimacy and more unwed mothers decide not to allow adoption and raise children as single moms. And because, oh I hate to say this but, adoptive parents still prefer babies and it's become competitive. An older child in foster care may be available but well, it's like some people only want a puppy from a private owner and won't take a shelter dog. (My dog is a shelter dog. I'm her third human mom.) Oh. I know it can be more complicated than that but having had a friend who earnestly and expensively tried to adopt and failed I think it's gotten ridiculous.
Sometimes a parent doesn't tell the child they're adopted. I've heard of deathbed confessions. I've also heard of a parent going through a divorce suddenly telling a teenager before a custody battle. And DNA testing has revealed affairs and now plays a part in searches and reunions.
There are a few ideas about why an adoptee might want to know those who provided their genetic inheritance and why they have a right to know. One reason that seems less important these days is medical information. Getting the medical information used to be a good reason to unseal a Closed Adoption and appealing to a sympathetic judge sometimes worked. But rarely. You see, our medical knowledge has rapidly advanced and now it's understood that a good yearly physical is better information than the old idea that a person should know that a birth parent had certain medical condition.
Same goes for mental illness. What difference could it make to know mom had schizophrenia or dad was a vet with shell shock? Maybe it's genetics. Maybe not.
I'll refute that idea that medical and mental information about parents isn't a valid reason to unseal a Closed Adoption a bit in a future post.
Yes, sometimes a genealogist can run with some basic information and quicky come up with the answer of who or where a parent is. It depends on if the person was told the truth in the first place to tell the genealogist the truth.
Because one person I did a search for relayed the truth and because of the Internet, my all time record for finding a father who was never in his daughter's life was one afternoon. It made me wonder why her mother wasn't more curious - or if mom knew where he was all along.
Working with another genealogist years ago, we together were about ninety percent certain in one afternoon that a birth mother belonged to a certain family.
In the first case the woman could've picked up a phone.
In this second case we thought that if we went to a certain house, we would encounter the family members who might know something. (Not that we would. The next step was being contemplated. Showing up on a doorstep demanding answers is not such a good idea.)
In either case, the adoptee was more than surprised. Unable to cope. Frozen in indecision. Due to the rapidity.
If a person was adopted in a state where adoptions were Closed, you may have no chance of opening up the files. Which is where an adoption registry can be the answer. Many states have them.
There are possible ways around it, which I'll get into, but before I do I want to say that I think being in therapy, be you the birth parent or the adoptee, is a good idea. The not knowing really bothers some people and can create anxiety. Sometimes a person fears what they will learn. They may feel guilty for wanting to know. The adoptive parents may be uncomfortable or object. A person might not know how to integrate a found birth parent into their life or find they don't want to. A spouse may not be on board. A birth mother may have been under legal age and forced by her parents to give up a baby, married later, and never told her husband. Parents who put their children in an institution may have suffered despite this being their only option. Rape is the reason for too many conceptions and that trauma may be too much to deal with.
I can't take a poll but it's my guess that unwed motherhood was and is the number one reason children were given up, poverty being the second.
So many children are now born to single mothers - without a father in their lives - but into the 1970's there was still a stigma about unwed motherhood. In the 1960's and 1970's parents were still sending underage and unwed daughters away to other states to have babies. To this day there are homes for unwed mothers run by religious organizations and where abortion is condemned. As I hear it there is immense pressure for mothers to give up their babies for adoption in these places.
A person doesn't know how knowing their birth information will affect them. This is why having a therapist to talk to can possibly help.
So, about those Closed Adoptions.
My friend's husband, previously mentioned, remembers having a younger brother. Relatives told him years later that this brother was taken away from their mother in the 1960's and put into foster care. He assumes the little brother was adopted. This all happened in the state of Florida. My strong suggestion was to sign up for the Florida Adoption Reunion Registry. (FARR) Even if this brother was not adopted, his half-brother has no right to ask for his birth certificate in Florida. If he were allowed to have it, the existence of it with their mother's name on it would tell the story that he lived out his life in foster care. There wouldn't be a name change. We could find him.
My suggestion was to sign up with FARR.
FLORIDA ADOPTION AND REUNION REGISTRY
California also has an adoption registry. Using it, a young man who signed up as soon as legally able was reunited with a brother within a week.
I know you can research it and locate other registries.
Here is a free one that's possibly the oldest and largest!
INTERNATIONAL SOUNDEX REUNION REGISTRY
Soundex is a search method for bringing up surnames that sound alike.
C 2021
Adoption Strategies - AWG
