A few months back I attended a short introduction meeting to a well regarded pre-needs service that features no frills cremation. Years ago when I first heard of cremation, along with first hearing about Hinduism and reincarnation, I thought it made sense as an option. With the cost of funerals and burials outrageous (I was quoted $25,000 average to be buried in the same town my parents are - were - for much less) it is more the ONLY OPTION for many, including me. As it turns out the cost of this pre-paid no frills cremation in a much larger more expensive city than that town is far less that $5000. I had been quoted double that for cremation in the smaller town.
My feeling is that when my time comes nobody is going to travel to my funeral or to see a stone in a cemetery. Wouldn't it be better to just have my urn (or in this case a wood memory box) shipped somewhere or better yet, to someone who will then spread my ashes?
But you know, as a genealogist, someone who checks into FIND A GRAVE as a resource, as well as tombstone projects, cemetery records, and burial records, to accept being so - so - disappeared - is a thought.
What I did not want was a burial at sea. Romantic a notion it is I've spent little time on boats and generally expect to get sea sick. I love the view of the ocean, but no, I would only want my ashes to be spread in view of the ocean, not in it.
And really, I can imagine the memory box with my ashes in it, turning up at a Garage Sale, or stashed in a moldering basement, or, if you've seen the funny film, MEET THE PARENTS, sabotaged by a cat as a litter box. (!)
To go back to the beginning of this story though, this recent inquiry of funeral costs started because I called a cemetery to find out if a burial record I had could be confirmed. Was there a tombstone and what was the plot number should I come visit. The cemetery asked me to send the death certificate that stated that the burial had taken place there. They said there had been a flood but basically, they would look into it but could not identify the burial as is. They even said that perhaps there had been an "illegal" burial which was that relatives would have buried the person in the middle of the night there... I doubted that, as there was the county death certificate stating the name of the funeral home and the priest and the cemetery.
While I was on the phone, I asked what it might cost, if the grave was located and did not have a stone, to put a simple stone on it. I was shocked when I was told the cost would be $10,000.
Sorry but $10,000 is for a college education, a business start-up, a newer used car. I personally wouldn't spend that much on a wedding.
Still, I thought that with dozens of descendants alive, maybe they would want to pitch in for the tombstone.
There are so many forgotten people. The woman who was buried, probably legally, whose grave was so poor as to never have had a stone, or perhaps that was washed away in a flood, died young and horribly, with young children in the house. Today, dead since the 1920's, she is the great mother of two, the grandmother of two, the great grandmother of several... Only her DNA survives.
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