I've seen Valentines that, using the usual cartoonish or highly romantic art, depict, supposedly with humor, the beating of a woman so that she will finally be the Valentine of the man who gifted her with it. Not funny. Not loving.
But the idea that a card giver might batter or insult a woman to get her to like him rests in sexism and attitudes towards women that have not entirely changed, very sad to say.
I, as a writer, reader, literature major, and dogged researcher,
found this one deeply personally offensive.
The idea was that a boy giving this Valentine to a girl
didn't really want an intelligent or educated woman.
(MANY OF US HAVE GRANDPARENTS WHO NEVER LEARNED TO READ AND WRITE, who made their mark of an X on legal documents with a witness there as a result and many of us have parents who dropped out of high school and had to get their G.E.D. or equivalent after they served in the armed forces or got through working at anything during the Great Depression.)
This one was probably considered rather risqué back in the day
but these days with the Kardashian sisters showing off
their booties on a regular basis, we've grown numb.
I also found a few Valentines - very few - that depicted cartoonish or romantic BLACK people. Since most of these were pretty much in line with the Valentines that depicted cartoonish or romantic WHITE people, I decided that they were not offensive.
But these two, below, did seem to be. I had to wonder if BLACK people had found it difficult to purchase Valentines and other cards that showed people who looked like them in the stores.
Of course, the handmade Valentine, especially the ones made by children for their parents and siblings, grandparents, cousins, and friends, are probably most endearing and a way around the offensive. Right now kids are making Valentines in their school classrooms and at special programs staged at libraries and I'm sure that many handmade Valentines have remained cherished with all those drawings, and all the glitter glue.
This morning I was talking to a stranger about Valentines. I told her that a couple years ago, because Valentines used to be given to friends from friends, I gave a dozen people who were perhaps more acquaintances than friends, small fun cards with a piece of good chocolate each when we had lunch together about that time. One of the men, though he was at the table when I distributed these to one and all, unexpectedly took this small offering as a come on by me. Just what I didn't need.
But I do remember, even if perhaps a parent or a teacher thought that every child in class should receive a Valentine from every other child in the class, the excitement of being seven years old, having a kid crush on one particular boy, and how wonderful and special it felt when his Valentine was delivered to my desk. I recall the fun of a decorated classroom and a specially wrapped Valentine box that served as a mail box and how it was considered an honor to be picked to be the mail carrier!
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Images are from Google Images - search for Public Domain and Vintage Valentines
