I would like to do family history research and genealogy, but I'm getting nowhere with my screwed up family. There is no cooperation and I don't even think they're much interested. When I go to research at my local Family History Center I'm surrounded by people who have decent families that are happy, helpful, and excited to learn more about their people. I say not a word, since I don't want to lie, but I also don't want to tell the truth, that in my family no one says I love you, there's no sharing at the dinner table, and the only thing that can be counted on are crazy scenes. It's lonely.
Should I just forget it?
Elizabeth
Answer from Ancestry Worship - Genealogy
Elizabeth, you're not the only person who's embarked on the exciting adventure of learning more about your family history and ancestry without cooperation. Seems to me the one thing you cannot count on is that your research work will heal your family. But since there are so very many reasons why people do get into their research work, I urge you to stick with it, just for YOU! Maybe you'll achieve a greater understanding of your people, which will be interesting for you, if not healing.
At Family History Centers and other research libraries, though many people do share about their families and their research, and you can learn a lot from each other on how to, it's best to keep to a professional attitude. Pretend the family you are researching isn't yours!
Also take heart in knowing that almost every family has some stinkers. While researching aside other people I've heard many stories about what got dug up... in particular domestic violence. One researcher learned that her great grandfather had been killed when his granddaughter finally retaliated and he went rolling down the stairs. There were news articles about it and interestingly, the granddaughter was never arrested or prosecuted because everyone in town knew this man was a monster.
Researching history and genealogies has actually made me more of a feminist than ever. I'm so glad women have more choices about their lives and don't have to marry or stay married to have a place in this world.
I've also met people who were so not politically correct, they didn't even mind being known as bigots. I had networked for one family because of a dead end, and learned that a dozen researchers were working on the same issue, which brother, living in a Carolina compound, had which father. To know would have meant proofing the link to a well known historical family in Scotland. DNA had just become available, and this person had reached out to me to locate someone who would be willing to take the test, and I knew exactly where the only candidate lived. But before I could write to this man and plea the case of the very many researchers who needed to know, it was suggested to me that the family had been Jewish. I put that out there for comment.
I got a railing, seething e-mail that made my heart pound as someone suggested to me this could not be because, to paraphrase, "The family is Christian and loves Jesus Christ and everybody knows Jews are "Christ Killers" so it is impossible!"
So, Elizabeth, get ye down to your local Family History Center and learn to be a genealogist. It will preserve your intellect far better than doing crossword puzzles, and someday you too will meet others with screwy families!
C 2016
