TERESA WEILER'S TESTIMONIAL ON BEING A CHILD OF INCEST, MEETING HER BIRTH PARENTS, and WHY SHE CHOSE NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN

DAILY MAIL : I COULDN'T HAVE CHILDREN BECAUSE  from December 2022, Teresa Weiler wrote this testimonial published by Daily Mail. It is her story of discovering she was born due to brother-sister incest and how this knowledge strongly influenced her choices to not also have children.

As I read this I felt for her, very much so, but I also wish she had been better informed in youth.  I'm not sure that if she had children they would be "monsters."  And I think she might have benefited from counseling. 

Last year I met a woman who is good friends with a woman who has a few children that are the result of her father having sex with her as a teenager.  I was told these children were prospering and that their mother was fine. It was told to me by someone who is anti-abortion, perhaps as an example of how well things can turn out.  But when this same woman told me that children of incest never suffer I had to question that.  I said I knew of a family in which there had been first cousin marriages through the generations and they had all sorts of mental illness, learning disabilities, and developmental delays...  They said it was to keep the land in their family in Europe. Though for two generations the immigrants children had married outside that close family, these medical issues were not resolved.  (And I was there when the immigrant grandparents were trying to "match-make" their grand-daughter with a cousin as if they had lived in America for years!)

I also thought of the ancient royal Egyptians who did have genetic negatives from close interbreeding.

Today, however, should you be concerned about passing down genetic issues to your offspring, there is genetic testing and counseling. 

And, I won't say "there's always adoption," as I realize from friends that it has gotten expensive and difficult.  However, if you do love children, there are other ways that a person can get involved with children in education, in fostering, and in volunteer work.

A MODERN OBITUARY FOR AN UNMARRIED CHILDLESS MAN : CELEBRATING THE LIFE OF A NMNK

The unmarried and childless are often enough forgotten on genealogy charts and in family histories, despite the fact that it is also often those persons who were available to other family members when needed for child care, parental care, and financial help too. The Never Married No Kids person, without the obligation towards a spouse or offspring, is sometimes the person who is gets an education or moves away and has time to develop a career when others in the family have joined the status quo of married with children and the work-a-day world. 

I make every effort to include NMNK people in my charts and stories. Perhaps the brother of grandma is not one's genetic line but perhaps he was the one who cared for her when their parents died.  Great Aunt may have been called a spinster in her time and maybe she was lesbian or had been raped as a girl and had no interest in men. Or maybe cousin Honor was mentally slow but she was very much part of the family. Whatever the case, it was Great Aunt who hosted the Thanksgiving Family Reunions and always had some advice for a niece or nephew. We really do need to celebrate their lives too.

I recently came across an obituary in a sea of Covid-related obituaries of a young man and rejoiced in the wording of this tome.  It is so far distanced from the usual obituary that is either matter of fact or dripping in religious sentimentality and wording.

I'm changing the names and some of the details here but goes:

*****

SMITH, David John

David John Smith, 54, actor, traveler, educator, of Los Angeles, passed away Monday, January 3rd, 2022.  He was graduate of Valley College and UCLA.  He went on to earn an MFA in Theatre at the University if Michigan and later in life earned a Masters in Education.  Acting was his love from a very early age.  He performed on stage from the time he was in kindergarten and moved into film in adulthood. David began teaching in Los Angeles and took great joy in teaching children and taking part in shaping their lives for the future.  David loved his fur babies and will be reunited with his puggies,  Pretty, Spot, and Rover and many other furry friends he had through the years.  David leaves behind his parents,  John and Mary Smith, his sister, Nancy Jones, and his nephew Jack all of Detroit, Michigan, his dear friends Matty Johnson, Annie Mayer, Larry Larson, and Derik Shapiro, his kitty, Samson, and many close friends all over the world. A memorial service will be held at a later date.

*****

The original obit included a nice photo of the man who had recently passed away.

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