This book was based on a national survey of over 300 men back in the day, along with in-depth interviews of many others. Some famous men are examples used to bring up the different ways that men grieve or process their relationship and feelings - or lack of - for their fathers. So I'll name drop:
13 June 2026
FATHERLOSS by NEIL CHETHIK : AN EXCELLENT BOOK ABOUT GRIEVING THE DEATH OF YOUR FATHER
This book was based on a national survey of over 300 men back in the day, along with in-depth interviews of many others. Some famous men are examples used to bring up the different ways that men grieve or process their relationship and feelings - or lack of - for their fathers. So I'll name drop:
02 November 2025
VISITING THE SECOND OLDEST CEMETERY IN LOS ANGELES : HISTORICAL WILMINGTON CEMETERY : MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AS A GENEALOGIST
I was recently able to visit the second oldest cemetery in Los Angeles, in Wilmington, California which is in the South Bay area not far from the Port of Los Angeles (which is the Ports of San Pedro and Long Beach).
People had begun decorating for the Day of the Dead celebration there with marigolds and other flowers and vibrant decorations. There are some fairly recent burials and a good number of them are of Hispanic people, likely Roman Catholic. Many of these gravestones have images - be they photos or some new etching technology - of the person or the couple - who are buried. It is my idea that some families are adding their loved ones to graves that have been in the family a while.
But more on the burials in a bit.
This is a flat gravestone cemetery and from the signage I had no idea how large it really is until I got into it. It's a square of land with some old trees not far from the railroad tracks with some of the containers that came on ships to the harbor visible.
It was established in 1857 by Phineas Banning. That means that it was in existence before Phineas Banning built his large house across the way in 1864. There are some very old burials there.
HISTORICAL MARKER DATABASE - WILMINGTON
Excerpt: It is the oldest active graveyard in Los Angeles. Pioneer families buried here include Banning, Carson, and Sepulveda. There are 37 Civil War veterans, and soldiers from the Spanish-American War and from the Normandy D-Day invasion.This is the cemetery used by some of the Bannings who lived in the Banning House. Which is a ten minute walk away in a beautiful well-kept park.
The Banning family had a number of children who died as babies buried there. And a wife who died relatively young. A William Banning has a grave stone that states that he was born in Wilmington, Delaware in 1841 and died in Wilmington, California in 1891. Yes, Wilmington in California was named after the town in Delaware and the Bannings started out as Yankees, which might have everything to do with Phineas siding with the Union for the Civil War.BANNING HOUSE - THE BANNING MUSEUM
21 March 2025
ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY : CONCERNS OVER HISTORICAL SIGNIFICANCE TO
I've got a relative buried at Arlington....
NBC WASHINGTON : ARLINGTON REMOVAL OF EDUCATIONAL MATERIALS LEADING TO HISTORICALLY SIGNIFICANT BURIALS
Excerpt: Historian Kevin Levin said the removed pages were valuable tools for educators across the country...
In a statement to News4, a spokesperson for Arlington National Cemetery said, “We are actively working to update our educational content in compliance with Executive Orders issued by the President and Department of Defense Instruction. We want to clarify that no service members have been permanently removed from the ‘Notable Graves’ section of our website. The individuals from prior categories such as ‘African American History, Hispanic American History, and Women’s History’ can be found in other categories such as ‘Prominent Military Figures’ or ‘Science, Technology & Engineering,’ based on the person’s historical contribution to our nation.”
Here's the official web site : ARLINGTON CEMETERY - EXPLORE GRAVES
27 May 2024
MEMORIAL DAY
31 October 2022
MAUSOLEUM
22 July 2017
HALLOWED GROUNDS - AMERICA'S OVERSEAS CEMETERIES : ANCESTRY WORKSHIP GENEALOGY FILM REVIEW
HALLOWED GROUNDS - AMERICA'S OVERSEAS CEMETERIES : ANCESTRY WORKSHIP GENEALOGY FILM REVIEW My meditation on this film was also that, sadly, we seem to be essentially hung up on World War II. What about Viet Nam? What about undeclared war? I think maybe if it's not officially a war than it can't have official heroes (and heroines!)
According to this film at least 125,000 American military men and women are buried in these cemeteries. Then there are so many more who are missing. Probably forever.
Worth watching!
13 November 2013
THE LIMITATIONS OF TOMBSTONE PROJECTS - THERE ARE BURIALS THAT HAVE NO TOMBSTONES
Volunteers go through cemeteries, take the information down off the tombstone - sometimes photographing - and put it on the information up on the world wide web - the Internet for anyone who uses the net to access.
To me this can be culturally insensitive and as I see it, no graveyard that allows it is sacred. Some cultures do not allow picture taking of the living, believing that this takes some of a person's essence or soul and some see tombstones as ancestral and even where the soul rests. THE TOMBSTONE CENSUS TAKERS SEEM TO EASILY GAIN PERMISSION or DO NOT CARE about these things. It makes me question what paying for a sacred space or privacy in death is all about.
The tombstone project volunteers put information up that is less than 70 years old and the US government thinks of 70 years as the privacy zone - thus the 1940 census was just revealed and records in many states are sealed for the same reason - privacy.
Some people have tombstones that have been carved with the name of the spouse who isn't dead yet. This communicates information such as the name of the living person and that they have been widowed. Not private. In some places, not safe at all.
I can't even get into all the ways the information can be used by identity thieves.
MAYBE THE WORST THING ABOUT TOMBSTONE PROJECTS is that they give the FALSE IMPRESSION that the burials with tombstones are all the burials in that cemetery. YOU SHOULD STILL CONTACT CEMETERIES IF YOU ARE TRYING TO FIND RELATIVES, and the Death Record of that person should record if they were buried and where, or if they were cremated. So don't use tombstone information without the death record for your genealogy.
As funerals and cemeteries and tombstones are more expensive, I suspect more people will be going with cremation in the future, unless their religion forbids it.
Please be aware that some cemeteries have no tombstones, or at least many that have been eroded or stolen. There is no national law that says you have to buy one. Many cemeteries have about 2/3rds of their burials unmarked. This can be because no one ever bought a tombstone or because more than one person is in the tomb. Check the rules and regulations for the city, county, or state about this, but in some places a purchased tomb site allows two burials, one atop the other. (In goes the destitute child or the ex wife!)
Also check into the religious beliefs about burials which may differ because a person is Muslim or Jewish, as examples.
I HAVE FOUND A NUMBER OF TOMBSTONES THAT WERE CARVED WITH INCORRECT INFORMATION, including misspellings of names, variations of the name the person was born with being very common. This can give you the impression you have not found the person you're looking for.
Finally, the birth date may not be accurate. In some times and places the date on the tombstone is the date the person was BAPTISED, and the death date, the date they received LAST RITES. Really!


