Showing posts with label Cemeteries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cemeteries. Show all posts

13 June 2026

FATHERLOSS by NEIL CHETHIK : AN EXCELLENT BOOK ABOUT GRIEVING THE DEATH OF YOUR FATHER

I picked up this book, published years ago, at a book sale. It's an excellent book!  It starts with a 'gypsy' proverb : You have to dig deep to bury your father. While this book is written for sons, I think daughters can benefit too. It's a book of empathy and understanding.

  

This book was based on a national survey of over 300 men back in the day, along with in-depth interviews of many others. Some famous men are examples used to bring up the different ways that men grieve or process their relationship and feelings - or lack of - for their fathers. So I'll name drop:

John F. Kennedy Jr.
Michael Jordan
Dylan Thomas
John Quincy Adams
Mahatma Gandhi
Ernest Hemingway ....

Read about men's style of mourning and how one's relationship with dad is so impactful.

C 2026 Ancestry Worship - Genealogy BlogSpot

02 November 2025

VISITING THE SECOND OLDEST CEMETERY IN LOS ANGELES : HISTORICAL WILMINGTON CEMETERY : MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AS A GENEALOGIST

I was recently able to visit the second oldest cemetery in Los Angeles, in Wilmington, California which is in the South Bay area not far from the Port of Los Angeles (which is the Ports of San Pedro and Long Beach).

WILMINGTON CEMETERY

People had begun decorating for the Day of the Dead celebration there with marigolds and other flowers and vibrant decorations. There are some fairly recent burials and a good number of them are of Hispanic people, likely Roman Catholic.  Many of these gravestones have images - be they photos or some new etching technology - of the person or the couple - who are buried.  It is my idea that some families are adding their loved ones to graves that have been in the family a while.

But more on the burials in a bit.

This is a flat gravestone cemetery and from the signage I had no idea how large it really is until I got into it. It's a square of land with some old trees not far from the railroad tracks with some of the containers that came on ships to the harbor visible.

It was established in 1857 by Phineas Banning. That means that it was in existence before Phineas Banning built his large house across the way in 1864. There are some very old burials there.

HISTORICAL MARKER DATABASE - WILMINGTON

Excerpt: It is the oldest active graveyard in Los Angeles. Pioneer families buried here include Banning, Carson, and Sepulveda. There are 37 Civil War veterans, and soldiers from the Spanish-American War and from the Normandy D-Day invasion.

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This is the cemetery used by some of the Bannings who lived in the Banning House. Which is a ten minute walk away in a beautiful well-kept park. 

The Banning family had a number of children who died as babies buried there.  And a wife who died relatively young.  A William Banning has a grave stone that states that he was born in Wilmington, Delaware in 1841 and died in Wilmington, California in 1891. Yes, Wilmington in California was named after the town in Delaware and the Bannings started out as Yankees, which might have everything to do with Phineas siding with the Union for the Civil War.

BANNING HOUSE - THE BANNING MUSEUM 

Excerpt: Phineas Banning—entrepreneur, the founder of the city of Wilmington, and “the Father of the Port of Los Angeles”—built the 23-room residence in 1864. Subsequent generations lived in it until 1925; in 1927 the residence, stagecoach barn, and the surrounding 20 acres of parkland were acquired by the City of Los Angeles.

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It also not far from the Civil War Barracks which Phineas Banning donated to the Union Army during the Civil War.  DRUM BARRACKS ORG

The Drum Barracks has an archive but my experience with that was that they would prefer you do your research elsewhere since much or all of the archive is duplicated elsewhere.  Information I sent a few years ago was also not acknowledged. 

According to one of the employees of the Wilmington Cemetery, the land there used to be water wells for the merchants during Banning's time.

I spent about an hour walking around the memorials.  It is said that there are over 9000 burials there. Certainly it did not seem so, and there were areas where there were no gravestones at all.
To my reader-genealogy researchers, please remember this is the case with many cemeteries and one should not entirely rely on grave-stone databases. If you suspect or know that an ancestor was buried in a cemetery contact that cemetery for information. It helps if you have the death certificate that states the burial took place there, or a funeral home record.

I did not take photos of any of the graves, which I think of as disrespectful.

One of the most interesting was a small slab that announced the death of a one month old Japanese or Japanese-American baby.  

There is a street in Wilmington called Opp. Opp burials included someone born in 1848 who died in 1906. I imagine they may have had some land - a farm.

There is at least one 'died in Korea' marker, some that indicate World War II took their man, and a couple that indicated that the person had served in a state militia or reserve.  Last Memorial Day (2025) a local boy scout troop provided a memorial with the names of local men who had served their country.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if there were no longer wars on this earth?  (As I told a good friend of mine the other day who said "that won't happen," then I would like to be reincarnated on a better planet.)

The babies and children who died long ago made me think of vaccinations and what a difference they have made. Anyone who has seen the archival documents that reveal the babies and children who died of childhood diseases, the adults who died of TB, and the townsfolk who died of various 'plague' must know that.

Besides Mexican or Hispanic burials there were also some surnames that were Germanic or Italian or English.  I don't often visit cemeteries, but I'm intrigued by the art and design of some stones and try to imagine what ornate ones must have cost when they were made. There were a good number of Masonic symbols on graves in this cemetery.

I like to find not just the oldest burials but burials of those who got a long life out of this one. Here's a little name dropping. LIPKING 1822-1909, COATES died 1914 at 71 years old, OPP 1848-1906.



I have come to hate Halloween for all the gore and horror and fright and violence it now celebrates. We actually do not need to be exposed to more violence or participate in that. I'm into the acknowledgement of those who came before us though.  This is why, though I have no Hispanic or Mexican heritage, I'm more likely to contribute to a celebration such as Day of the Dead.  

Christine

21 March 2025

ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY : CONCERNS OVER HISTORICAL SIGNIFICANCE TO



I've got a relative buried at Arlington....

NBC WASHINGTON : ARLINGTON REMOVAL OF EDUCATIONAL MATERIALS LEADING TO HISTORICALLY SIGNIFICANT BURIALS

Excerpt: Historian Kevin Levin said the removed pages were valuable tools for educators across the country...

In a statement to News4, a spokesperson for Arlington National Cemetery said, “We are actively working to update our educational content in compliance with Executive Orders issued by the President and Department of Defense Instruction. We want to clarify that no service members have been permanently removed from the ‘Notable Graves’ section of our website. The individuals from prior categories such as ‘African American History, Hispanic American History, and Women’s History’ can be found in other categories such as ‘Prominent Military Figures’ or ‘Science, Technology & Engineering,’ based on the person’s historical contribution to our nation.”

Here's the official web site : ARLINGTON CEMETERY - EXPLORE GRAVES

27 May 2024

MEMORIAL DAY


We Americans have this day off in order to remember our veterans, 
but there are so many "wars" our ancestors fought on the home front, and personally.  
Let's remember them all.


31 October 2022

MAUSOLEUM


 image from Graphics Fairy

With the cost of funerals and burials rising, 
I wonder how many people can afford to build expensive mausoleums like this.

22 July 2017

HALLOWED GROUNDS - AMERICA'S OVERSEAS CEMETERIES : ANCESTRY WORKSHIP GENEALOGY FILM REVIEW

  HALLOWED GROUNDS - AMERICA'S OVERSEAS CEMETERIES : ANCESTRY WORKSHIP GENEALOGY FILM REVIEW 

HALLOWED GROUNDS focuses on the cemeteries in Europe where soldiers from World War I and World War II are buried. Turns out that simple crosses lined up like soldiers feature in most of these cemeteries. Most touching is that some Europeans have picked a soldier, learned of his sacrifice for their freedom, and have adopted him, bringing flowers since his own family is not likely to visit.  These cemeteries are in England and France, Italy, Luxemberg, Belgium.  Why was I surprised to learn that there are locations in Tunisia and the Philippines?

My meditation on this film was also that, sadly, we seem to be essentially hung up on World War II.  What about Viet Nam?  What about undeclared war?  I think maybe if it's not officially a war than it can't have official heroes (and heroines!)

According to this film at least 125,000 American military men and women are buried in these cemeteries.  Then there are so many more who are missing.  Probably forever.

Worth watching!

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13 November 2013

THE LIMITATIONS OF TOMBSTONE PROJECTS - THERE ARE BURIALS THAT HAVE NO TOMBSTONES

I have very mixed feelings about tombstone projects. 

Volunteers go through cemeteries, take the information down off the tombstone - sometimes photographing - and put it on the information up on the world wide web - the Internet for anyone who uses the net to access. 

To me this can be culturally insensitive and as I see it, no graveyard that allows it is sacred.  Some cultures do not allow picture taking of the living, believing that this takes some of a person's essence or soul and some see tombstones as ancestral and even where the soul rests.  THE TOMBSTONE CENSUS TAKERS SEEM TO EASILY GAIN PERMISSION or DO NOT CARE about these things.  It makes me question what paying for a sacred space or privacy in death is all about.

The tombstone project volunteers put information up that is less than 70 years old and the US government thinks of 70 years as the privacy zone - thus the 1940 census was just revealed and records in many states are sealed for the same reason - privacy.

Some people have tombstones that have been carved with the name of the spouse who isn't dead yet. This communicates information such as the name of the living person and that they have been widowed.  Not private.  In some places, not safe at all.

I can't even get into all the ways the information can be used by identity thieves.

MAYBE THE WORST THING ABOUT TOMBSTONE PROJECTS is that they give the FALSE IMPRESSION that the burials with tombstones are all the burials in that cemetery.  YOU SHOULD STILL CONTACT CEMETERIES IF YOU ARE TRYING TO FIND RELATIVES, and the Death Record of that person should record if they were buried and where, or if they were cremated.  So don't use tombstone information without the death record for your genealogy.

As funerals and cemeteries and tombstones are more expensive, I suspect more people will be going with cremation in the future, unless their religion forbids it.

Please be aware that some cemeteries have no tombstones, or at least many that have been eroded or stolen.  There is no national law that says you have to buy one. Many cemeteries have about 2/3rds of their burials unmarked.  This can be because no one ever bought a tombstone or because more than one person is in the tomb.  Check the rules and regulations for the city, county, or state about this, but in some places a purchased tomb site allows two burials, one atop the other.  (In goes the destitute child or the ex wife!)

Also check into the religious beliefs about burials which may differ because a person is Muslim or Jewish, as examples.

I HAVE FOUND A NUMBER OF TOMBSTONES THAT WERE CARVED WITH INCORRECT INFORMATION, including misspellings of names, variations of the name the person was born with being very common.  This can give you the impression you have not found the person you're looking for. 

Finally, the birth date may not be accurate.  In some times and places the date on the tombstone is the date the person was BAPTISED, and the death date, the date they received LAST RITES.  Really!